The zoo

My house usually feels like a zoo. I have 2 dogs, a cat, and a 5 year old named Eliza. There's barely a dull moment. Usually the dogs are fighting, and when they're not, Eliza keeps asking me to play with them. I don't know what to say. When she plays with them, it usually ends in her crying and me having to slap something. So, I say sure, since I was not brave enough to birth her a playmate who would, let's face it, make her cry too.

I should be sent to jail for animal abuse. Today Lucy, my puppy, was locked in her kennel all day in our bedroom watching VH1.

Then, I went into Eliza's bathroom and saw this. My life is so glamorous!